"Jhalmuri, Jhalmuri..."; "Kharab se kharab chai..."; "O bhaiya, raste se hatiye naa jara..."; I have always enjoyed these dialogues, monologues and conversations whenever I boarded a train to start a new journey. Whether a short 4 hours journey from Nagpur to Amravati or a long 40 hours journey from Nagpur to Guwahati, train journeys have always been very refreshing for the mind and soul.I have always enjoyed witnessing the creativity of the vendors trying to bring in a conviction in the passengers towards the excellence of whatever product they are trying to sell; I enjoyed watching angry passengers screaming at each other regarding who should/should not get to sit and rest on the berth; looking at those helpless faces of the beggars in an endeavour to get something that can help them to earn a meal for themselves; those horrified faces trying to hide from a pair of hands clapping in that typical fashion; some cryptic faces; pairs of suspicious eyes; groups of ostentatious people; a few busy bodies and many such things and beings have always kept me occupied and never let me get bored whenever and wherever I'm travelling in a train compartment.
All these thrill, drama and enjoyment, I know will be there whenever I get ready for another train journey. I know that there will be many things that will keep me pondering over them howsoever long the journey may be; but, I never knew the reason behind it. I never knew why in spite of all the screaming, shouting and crying a train journey always seems so congenial.
* * *
There had been lot of tough times in life, when I felt depressed, irritated and frustrated and thought "Why me?", "Why with me?", "Why am I like this?". Sometimes these problems were because of others, then I felt trapped and sometimes because of my own fault, and then I felt like a moron. But whatever may be the cause, with them those feelings and queries kept coming back to me.
In school, boys around me used to gossip and the teacher used to point at me and make me sit at the first bench. I felt very embarrassed. "Why me God, why me?"
I was just working on the computer in the lab when I came across a video named "The Best of the Best". I opened it to see what it was as the name was quite interesting. On dragging it forward what I saw was both shocking and confusing. Before I could apprehend that I was watching the first "A"-film of my life, the lab in-charge appeared from somewhere. He pushed me out of the lab. I got really frustrated. Out of hundred guys present there, he has to come to me and at that very moment! What about those who store such things on the computer and that too with such gaudy names! "Why always with me?"
I was studying hard for my end-sems. I didn't sleep the previous night. The other day, I just lay down to take a short 1/2-an-hour nap two hours before the exam. But I never woke up to the screaming alarm until my friend gave me a call from the exam hall. I reached 1/2-an-hour late to the exam hall and managed to score just 70% in that paper. I felt like the most idiot person in
the whole world. "Why am I like this?"
* * *
During my last year in school, friends used to say, "IIT me milna chahiye yaar", "Life ban jaayega", "paison me khelenge hum log", "naam, shohorat, rupya sab kuch milega", "Baap college hai woh". I tried my best but could not get a good branch to pursue on in any of the IITs. Well, I got a good stream in a NIT and continued there. Two years hence, I got an opportunity to do a project in IIT, Guwahati. I was very excited. Finally I'm pursuing some part of my education in the baap institute.
The campus was huge and soothing. Surrounded by hills and with natural lakes and ponds inside, it looked like the ultimate place for study. But after three weeks, the same hills, lakes , ponds, the pure silence all seemed so pallid. There was no partying in the campus, no guys playing in the ground in front of the hostel, no gang of boys having an intersting conversation in the hostel; what seemed like heaven to me now started looking pale and dull. I thought I will get claustrophobic.
Actually, may be that was because at that time the summer breaks were on and very limited number of students were present in the campus. But during the nine-week stay in that campus, I got all my answers and cleared all my doubts and learned something very precious.
This world seems so habitable because of its inherent vatriety. A train journey is always so occupying because it shows so many shades of human life, human beings, and humanity. Nowadays, I no longer bog down under problems. Instead I face them like a valiant warrior. I no more get depressed, frustrated or irritated, nor do foolish questions haunt me at problematic times because now I have grown truly self-confident and strong and now I'm proud of myself because now I know that "However I am, I am contributing to the wonderful variety in the world" and now that's heroic to me.
