Dust, Sweat, Disappointment & a Musical Rendezvous

I was crying now. After trying hard to touch the land below, I had to finally give up. It all started a few moments ago. I could remember every instance vividly now. I was with my friends on a beach and we were all playing, making sand castles, carving our name on sand and then watching the waters wash them away. We would try again, carving it deeper this time but couldn’t win over the waters. We then stood up and moved closer to the waters and felt the cool sea breeze and the land beneath us drifting away into the waters.

Ho ho!! Hooooooooo… Shubh started running fast and we all followed him. Soon it became a race about who could reach that huge rock the earliest. I ran hard and to my surprise, there was no sign of exhaustion. I kept increasing my pace and soon I was the leading the flock of racers. But the fun was in increasing the gap between me and the people behind me. So I kept running faster and faster. And then, I started feeling lighter. I felt as if I was virtually putting in no effort to move this fast. As if there is no force beneath my feet. And oh man!!! I was flying…

I was flying!! I was not only moving fast but I was moving up towards the sky. My friends were looked amazed but at that point of time I was more concerned about my flight. I started going upper and upper and soon that huge rock was there. I was above. Now it was the time to get down on it…

A few seconds past by and I could see the rock behind me. When I saw ahead, I could see the blue waters; but then, when I saw behind, I was not able to locate my friends. I badly wanted to touch the ground now. But I couldn’t. All of a sudden I lost control of myself. I was moving ahead and rising up faster and faster. All effort I was made to stop myself proved futile. Still I saw no sign of any physical exhaustion in me. But I felt as if I am internally exhausted.

I was in white space. The sunrays got brighter. Soon I couldn’t tolerate the heat and my left ear started burning…

I was sweating. I removed the chaddar, got down, moved towards the balcony and closed the door. I pulled the curtains to cover the windows and prevent the sunlight from coming in. I was not exactly fresh but didn’t feel like sleeping anymore. It was 10:35 in the morning. I had my convocation the next day and had to get some work done before that.

I took the Bisleri bottle and hydrated myself. Quickly I moved towards the shelf, applied the paste on my toothbrush and moved towards the bathroom. On the way I realized that I forgot my chappals; but then decided to continue without them. Bare foot on the floor felt nice…

It was 11:00 and I had to be at the station in another 200 minutes. Though my parents felt they could find their way out to IIM, I had my own reasons. Firstly, I wanted them to feel that I care for them and also because the previous night I went to receive Priyanka’s parents and so I ought to go and receive mine. Well considering it takes 40 minutes to reach station, I had 160 minutes to clean up my room for one last time… actually also for the first time… I took a look around. But I knew that I couldn’t get discouraged now. So I collected all the clothes first and dumped it into the almirah.

All the Mint papers (that’s the newspaper I followed) were collected and heaped outside the door. The magazines (The Entrepreneur, Forbes India, Business India & Business World) were stacked nicely on the top shelf. The books and case-mats on the shelf below followed by various papers, printouts, etc. And the bottom row had books like “Fooled by Randomness”, “The Black Swan”, “Freakonomics” and the like…

So finally, after the books and papers were arranged, I got the rest of the table which was unoccupied all this long cleaned up. It looked like an Indian village with fragmented rectangular patches of dust separated by black rectangular patches which used to rest to the books. After all the dust farms were shaved off, I nicely placed my Lenovo ThinkPad and connected it to the LG monitor (my laptop screen was broken; but not for long). The bare floor was visible after a long time. I felt proud looking around. It was already 12:40 now. I had to clean the dust off myself now…

I called up Ahmed bhai and fixed up a meeting near the Gurudwara on SG (Sarkhej-Gandhinagar) Highway at 1:15 PM. It was extremely hot outside. But 4 years in Nagpur gave me enough training to face such dry heat.

Ahmed bhai was like a farishta to me. A week back, I saw him staring inside my room. I went up to him rather irritated. He enquired if there was a problem with my Laptop screen as I had connected an external display. I was happily surprised. I told him the problem and that the laptop didn’t have an accidental warranty. He assured me that he will take care of the matter. Though I was not convinced enough, I saw some hope in him.

A couple of days later he called me up and gave a brilliant idea. Due to threat of plagiarism (as his idea is not copyrighted yet - copyright norms are not yet present for these kinds of ideas; though I believe such ideas are driving business at the grass root level), I am nor revealing his idea here. However, I would like to state that this idea didn’t occur to any of us IIMA guys. Well, I followed his words and my screen was set for without me putting my hand into my back-pocket. And it was 1:42 now.   

I thanked Ahmed bhai and left for station. After dialogues like “Mera beta bilkul such gaya”, etc. etc., we left for IIM. Mom was happy to see my “nicely kept” room. I took them to a Bengali Restaurant.

We had a rehearsal for convocation the next day. I consciously decided not to go for it (I know many of you will find it ridiculous) but I wanted to maintain the novelty of that feeling of wearing the gown, moving towards the stage, people clapping around…

So, I spent an hour with parents without informing them of my stupid intention. At 5:00 PM I went to the music room to rehearse for my last performance in IIMA (or maybe in life) in front of a huge audience. It was a big moment actually. My parents (esp. mom) would see me live on-stage for the first time.

After 2 hours of practice, I took my parents to the grand pre-convocation dinner. Then the award ceremony happened (not the serious one). And then at 11:30 PM, the permission to keep the auditorium open was not given.

It was a real sad and disappointing moment for us musicians. We were all prepared and pumped up to give our best. But it didn’t happen and we couldn’t accept it. We assembled at the LKP (Louis Kahn Plaza), occupied a few chairs, we would occupy tomorrow during the convocation and started jamming. People gathered and then sat around us, requesting for more. And it was the best live performance for all of us.

True, parents were not there, but the last time ought to be with this audience for whom we have been performing for the past two years, who applauded our songs for the past two years, whom we would miss the most for the coming years and whom we will see forever whenever we look back to this musical rendezvous.

The gap was wide enough. Some went to become hot-shot I-Bankers, some towards NGOs, some entrepreneurs and some (like me) to support entrepreneurs. But we wanted to be together and we were grounded strong to our values and our will to stay together.

***

I was flying again rather we were hopping together. Flying at times, touching the ground again. We all conquered that huge rock in one giant leap and then stood there and looked towards the endless waters. Moments later, we were returning back; we knew we could move ahead but staying back felt better. We had each other around…

मैं आतंकवादी क्यूँ बना - an attempt to understand the unexplainable

गर्म सांसें, भीगी आँखें, आश्चर्य मेरे मन में था
अगले ही पल नम ये आँखें और शोक भरा इस दिल में था
क्यूँ हुआ अपने ही साथ किस्मत का ऐसा बदसुलूक
क्यूँ किया अपनों पे ही दुनिया ने ऐसा जुल्म
जिस समाज को माना था मैंने एक देवभूति
क्यूँ उसी ने मांग ली मेरे अपनों की ही आहुति


अब इस पल थी शांत सांसें और क्रोध मेरे मन में था
आँखों में थे रक्त जागे और प्रतिशोध भरा इस दिल में था
जिस दुनिया ने है छीन ली मुझसे मेरे जीवन का सवेरा
क्यूँ न फैला दूं इसके हर कोने में मैं अँधेरा
हमदर्दी का जवाब जिन्होंने हमे दर्द से दिया
अब उन्हें क्या हक़ हो की वो मनाते रहें खुशियाँ


रंगे हुए है जो हाथ मेरे अपनों के ही लहू से
धोना है मुझे अब इन्हें इन्ही कातिलो के खून से!!

Demistifying CAT

CAT is not tough. It’s definitely not the toughest exam in the world at least at an intellectual level. So I found it quite humorous when Harsha Bhogle said so in his talk on ’12 truths beyond CAT’. But then, after his talk came to an end and I started analysing my past one year at IIM-A, I somehow got convinced that CAT is indeed one of the toughest exams in the world if not the one and so is surviving here at IIM-A. This is not because it has got a handful of IMO level problems in the Quant section, not because it has one of the toughest tests on DI that I have ever witnessed and neither because it requires an extraordinary vocabulary to clear its section on English. In fact, none of these things holds true for CAT.

According to me, CAT requires primarily three things; Common sense, Commitment and a Capability of time management (and of course the right attitude and morals to get into an IIM). I wish to call this the 3C-funda for cracking CAT (After courses on HR and marketing, I have developed a kind of fetish to manufacture and apply frameworks to most of the things I do except to matters of heart. I wish to write something on the latter as well but am not quite sure of the idea as I have been an eternal loser in this field).

Well, coming back to CAT, the quant section just requires you to retain the very basic fundamentals of simple mathematics that we have learnt at school level (not even high school!!!); DI requires common sense and some bit of practice; English just requires the habit of reading newspapers/novels (not like a GK maniac; rather just for fun and to be informed) and of course developing an ability to manage your time well (believe me, there’s nothing in life for which you will have infinite time). So basically, it is about doing the simple things well rather than doing extraordinary stuff which normal people leading a normal life cannot and then combining ability with the right attitude.

Most of the time it is the toughest to do the simple things well because many of us are occupied enough in doing things which others can’t do though the fact is in most of the cases, winning requires you to do the former right rather than the latter and that is what makes CAT one of the ‘toughest exams in the world to crack’. You need not be an abnormal person to clear CAT.

Disclaimer: I would be more than happy if someone takes out something out of this article but in no way is this article a guide to clear CAT

Warning: This article has been written after having one peg each of whisky and vodka and considering that I am not a drinker, this is high enough for me to get high

We did the 'Diu'

I had just lost 3 matches in a row. Had it been any other day, I would have definitely played more matches until I achieved victory or the shuttle stopped behaving normally. But this day was different. So, I congratulated Shivika on her win and hurriedly left for my room.

It was a strenuous journey; navigating my way through the red-bricked walls, I tried to follow the shortest path. Running on the mud, climbing up and down multiple stairs and travelling underground through the underpass with cars cruising over me, I finally reached my room with a parched throat and a sweaty body. But there was excitement filled in my heart. I just glanced for a moment at a brown wheel-bag lying at a corner of my room and the next few moments went by scanning through the bundle of clothes and selecting a “privileged few” to share the ensuing dose of ‘48-hours “ossumness” ’ (yup! That’s how we spell it) with me.

So, 14 of us from different corners of the campus gathered near the SBI ATM in campus at 2100 hours to make the maiden trip after slogging hard for the last 5 months in IIMA. The time was ours and we were all eager to etch its every moment so deep in our minds that we can visualise them whenever we wish to for years to come.

We quickly caught hold of 5 autos and reached Star Bazaar to board the 10:30 bus. But it became an 11:15 bus. However, we were there to enjoy. Ideas kept pouring in. We decided to fill our stomachs with egg bhurji, omelette and half fry at the Egg zone thela; and what a treat it was. Woh masaledaar chatpata khaana jiske liye hum taras rahe the, wo hume aakhir mil hi gaya. An ossum start to an ossum trip. So, after the pet puja, we got on to the bus to follow the roads to Diu.

Well, our stomachs were satisfied, but our hearts were crying out for some more masti and dhamaal and so that was what we did. The bus was almost fully booked by us. So without caring much we started with baithe baithe kya kare, karna hai kuch kaam; shuru karo antakshari leke prabhu ka naam. Surprisingly enough (actually not to me), the girls team was on the losing side at the end of it. But the night, yet not over was asking for more. Some IITians in the group preferred sleeping (this is just a dramatization, nothing against IITians) while others decided ki ek dusre ka game liya jaaye. So we started with the Truth & Dare game which soon got converted to Tell us your top 5 crushes game; and yes, we didn’t spare the sleeping souls.

Need not mention, there was regular food stops to ensure that we always have a fresh foods inventory.

In this way, that ossum night came to an end but only to give space to even more ossumer moments because when we next opened our eyes to the mild rays of sun, we witnessed an island retreat gently rocked by the wind and the wave from the Arabian Sea offering an undisturbed peace and raising our hopes for an unusual holiday. As we put our first steps on ground, we saw a somewhat strange vehicle unique to Diu. They call it the ‘shuttle’.

The next 48 hours of our lives were spent in immersing ourselves in the beauty and serenity of the place. The days were full of exploring the city (a primary part being finding the cheapest beer available), playing with the sea-waves, conquering the huge coral reefs and we saw the Diu Fort, and behold its every sight justified the trip and made it even more worthwhile. As they say, a picture can speak a thousand words, words which I may not be able to think to describe the vastness, the beauty and the sheer strength that got conveyed from every part of the fort. What follows now are a few glimpses of that gigantic and marvellous architecture.

Well the beauty and pride of Diu is enhanced manifold by the fort. But Diu is not limited to this. Here are some more aspects of the beautiful city and some brilliant photography.

There are many more shades to the island city which may not have been portrayed through these pictures. We went there to get a break from the hectic academic environment of IIMA but surprisingly, we learned a lot here and the place helpedn us foster some strong bonds among ourselves. The later part didn’t surprise me much though as a place where four different languages are spoken, where people of different origins live so peacefully together, where there are 1175 females every 1000 males and where the literacy rate is 75%; in short, a place which has carved its own story of success without pointing a finger at the rest of the nation is sure to bring about some positive changes in everything that is associated with it.

Photography Credits: Chaitanya Tambay

Organizer of the Trip: Ankit Mohan aka Sapela

A Real Lesson

"Jhalmuri, Jhalmuri..."; "Kharab se kharab chai..."; "O bhaiya, raste se hatiye naa jara..."; I have always enjoyed these dialogues, monologues and conversations whenever I boarded a train to start a new journey. Whether a short 4 hours journey from Nagpur to Amravati or a long 40 hours journey from Nagpur to Guwahati, train journeys have always been very refreshing for the mind and soul.

I have always enjoyed witnessing the creativity of the vendors trying to bring in a conviction in the passengers towards the excellence of whatever product they are trying to sell; I enjoyed watching angry passengers screaming at each other regarding who should/should not get to sit and rest on the berth; looking at those helpless faces of the beggars in an endeavour to get something that can help them to earn a meal for themselves; those horrified faces trying to hide from a pair of hands clapping in that typical fashion; some cryptic faces; pairs of suspicious eyes; groups of ostentatious people; a few busy bodies and many such things and beings have always kept me occupied and never let me get bored whenever and wherever I'm travelling in a train compartment.

All these thrill, drama and enjoyment, I know will be there whenever I get ready for another train journey. I know that there will be many things that will keep me pondering over them howsoever long the journey may be; but, I never knew the reason behind it. I never knew why in spite of all the screaming, shouting and crying a train journey always seems so congenial.

* * *

There had been lot of tough times in life, when I felt depressed, irritated and frustrated and thought "Why me?", "Why with me?", "Why am I like this?". Sometimes these problems were because of others, then I felt trapped and sometimes because of my own fault, and then I felt like a moron. But whatever may be the cause, with them those feelings and queries kept coming back to me.

In school, boys around me used to gossip and the teacher used to point at me and make me sit at the first bench. I felt very embarrassed. "Why me God, why me?"

I was just working on the computer in the lab when I came across a video named "The Best of the Best". I opened it to see what it was as the name was quite interesting. On dragging it forward what I saw was both shocking and confusing. Before I could apprehend that I was watching the first "A"-film of my life, the lab in-charge appeared from somewhere. He pushed me out of the lab. I got really frustrated. Out of hundred guys present there, he has to come to me and at that very moment! What about those who store such things on the computer and that too with such gaudy names! "Why always with me?"

I was studying hard for my end-sems. I didn't sleep the previous night. The other day, I just lay down to take a short 1/2-an-hour nap two hours before the exam. But I never woke up to the screaming alarm until my friend gave me a call from the exam hall. I reached 1/2-an-hour late to the exam hall and managed to score just 70% in that paper. I felt like the most idiot person in
the whole world. "Why am I like this?"

* * *

During my last year in school, friends used to say, "IIT me milna chahiye yaar", "Life ban jaayega", "paison me khelenge hum log", "naam, shohorat, rupya sab kuch milega", "Baap college hai woh". I tried my best but could not get a good branch to pursue on in any of the IITs. Well, I got a good stream in a NIT and continued there. Two years hence, I got an opportunity to do a project in IIT, Guwahati. I was very excited. Finally I'm pursuing some part of my education in the baap institute.

The campus was huge and soothing. Surrounded by hills and with natural lakes and ponds inside, it looked like the ultimate place for study. But after three weeks, the same hills, lakes , ponds, the pure silence all seemed so pallid. There was no partying in the campus, no guys playing in the ground in front of the hostel, no gang of boys having an intersting conversation in the hostel; what seemed like heaven to me now started looking pale and dull. I thought I will get claustrophobic.

Actually, may be that was because at that time the summer breaks were on and very limited number of students were present in the campus. But during the nine-week stay in that campus, I got all my answers and cleared all my doubts and learned something very precious.

This world seems so habitable because of its inherent vatriety. A train journey is always so occupying because it shows so many shades of human life, human beings, and humanity. Nowadays, I no longer bog down under problems. Instead I face them like a valiant warrior. I no more get depressed, frustrated or irritated, nor do foolish questions haunt me at problematic times because now I have grown truly self-confident and strong and now I'm proud of myself because now I know that "However I am, I am contributing to the wonderful variety in the world" and now that's heroic to me.

Don't Worry Man, Life Goes On

As a child, I used to cry, as they said crying was good,

But what I got was cerelac food.
Which I liked, I never got that food,
But in the evening, there was always a glass of doodh.
But finally, I got some popcorns,
I then felt that Life Goes On.

I grew up and went to school;
I sat on the very first bench and arranged my tools.
The first week, I was cucumber-cool,
But on the very next day, my leg slipped and I fell in the pool.
I said to Dad, my cool dude repo has gone.
He said, "Don't worry son, Life Goes On."

In my teens, I started having college-fun,
But on the very next day, I made an enemy like Myke Tyson.
He broke my leg in front of my girlfriend Jenson;
She dumped me and went away with Mel Fred Jackson.
Soon, my friends came to know of my situation.
They told me, chod naa yaar, Life Goes On.

At twenty-one, I got engaged;
3 years hence, there was marriage.
Then I felt as if I was jailed,
But soon my wife gave birth to a twin package.
Life looked like a bed of roses then, without any thorns;
Then I realized that indeed, Life Goes On.

At seventy, I was quite old.
Thinking of the past, I felt 'man! I was bold.'
Now, sometimes, when I get depressed and cold,
Humpty, Dumpty tell me, Dad, Old is Gold.
One fine day comes to me my grandson;
He says, "Cheer up grandpa, Life Goes On."

Now I know I am dead, and everything around me is white,
But far behind there, I could see a ray of light.
The figure comes closer and speaks up, "I am Indra, You are alright."
Now, you will have to get prepared for the next fight.
I asked God, "Will there be more problems as this life moves on?"
He replied with a smile, "You will come to know as Life Goes On."

"Avada Kedavra!" - Evil or Necessity!!!

"Avada Kedavra!", everytime this charm is uttered, someone is bound to die. only once did it happen that someone survived and that was Mr. Potter, Harry Potter. This death charm may have been used several times by the Dark Lord to kill nice innocent people, but in the end, it was Tom Riddle who hit the ground with a mundane finality and layed there dead. Yes, Voldemort was no more. True, that this evil charm has demanded many innocent lives, but its absence would never have made the death of the Dark Lord possible!

Muggles or humans have now spent many millions of years on planet Earth and ever since their very evolution, they have stayed as the dominant creatures on this planet but the very name of 'Death' seems to frighten them because the truth is that, howsoever strong one maybe, no one has been able to conquer death. It is the strongest of all in this material world. Everytime it comes, it leaves behind many broken hearts, shattered hopes and sorrowful days and every man on this planet has always resented it.

However, it is also true that its very presence has helped in eliminating the beasts, the demons, the dacoits and the terrorists for ages.Therefore, we cannot pray for its absolute absence either.

In Srimad Bhagavad Gita, Sri Krishna is shown as saying to Arjuna that after death, one is promoted to a higher planet based on the good deeds he performed during his stay on Earth and the God he worshipped. If however, someone worships the Supreme Lord, Krishna althrough his life and chants "Hare Ram, Hare Ram, Ram Ram, Hare Hare / Hare Krishna, Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna, Hare Hare", then he will be promoted to the Supreme planet i.e., Sri Krishna's planet and from there he will never return back to this earth to live a mortal life and hence, will be freed from the cycle of birth and death.

Thus, the Lord describes death as a gateway to elevated form of life or rather salvation. So, we definitely cannot term 'Death' as an evil but then can we call it a necessity?

In the Battlefield of Kurukshetra, Parthasarthi, Sri Krishna told Arjuna that one's individuality is always preserved; death only frees one from this material body and doesn't kill one's identity......
Today, planet Earth is losing its resources faster than it is able to recover them. Human population has grown to such an extent that our Motherland is finding it difficult to support us. It may sound a little crazy but no one can deny this fact that it is because of 'Death' opening its arms time again that the human race is still existing.

The face of death may seem ugly to all of us, but without its assistance, we would not have able to make this planet more beautiful, technologically advanced and a better place to live in.

"Mom, I'm hungry!"; when a child utters these words to his mother, she immediately serves him food which consists of say, some chicken flesh, porridge, dal and aaloo ki sabji; but where does these come from - they come after the death of some birds and after uprooting some plants. Thus, termination of few lives gives a few more some fuel to survive. This has been the law of nature. From the point of inception of life on this planet, this process has maintained the ecological balance.

Through this article, I have tried my bit to personify 'Death'. I am not supporting it, of course, but I am not cursing its presence either.Like every coin has two sides, 'Death' also has two fronts. However, often the other one is overlooked as one of the fronts is emotionally more intense than the other. Thus, while concluding this article, I would like to throw a question at you - Will you classify 'Death' as an evil or a necessity?